Every woman in Hollywood knows that the trick to a guaranteed Oscar is to uglify yourself up a little bit, à la Charlize Theron in Monster or Nicole Kidman in The Hours. Hilary Swank has already perfected the trick, by packing heat in Boys Don't Cry (a movie I cannot watch without needing a shower to wash off the utter dismay for humanity) and also as a human punching bag in Million Dollar Baby, so she's going the caloric route by, ironically, gaining about 30 pounds for the movie adaptation of the book French Women Don't Get Fat. Actually, aside from Charlize Theron, the Oscar Fat Trick seems to only work if you're male. Otherwise Minnie Driver would have been a clinch for Circle of Friends, Toni Collette would have scored with Muriel's Wedding and Renée Zellweger would have hoisted the statuette above her head a decade ago for Bridget Jones's Diary. After witnessing how the gorgeous Ms. Swank looks slender on the red carpet even next to women we know are incredibly wee, I doubt that adding 30 pounds to her willowy frame will make her look "heavy," as purported by some blogs.

Does anyone else think it's weird that Hollywood has so few ideas that they're now adapting things like diet books and cookbooks for movies? If this trend continues, I really hope Posh Spice is a lock for the lead role in Skinny Bitch.