Loved the video. I hate when people ask if I'm pregnant. I've been asked multiple times and I have always been in the "normal weight" range. Granted it's always when I'm wearing an empire waist dress, but it still sucks and can ruin my day.

Thanks for quoting me, and of course I don't mind. But I do think the coverage of "fat" (but still really very thin) celebs is part of the reason normal-weight people feel this way. When the gossip rags are suggesting that Gorgeous Celeb Y is "possibly pg," along with a photo, don't you think that people do a quick self-comparison? I know I do, which is why I try to avoid these celeb stories. It was actually worse in some ways when I started to feel good about my weight loss and got smacked by one of these newsflashes. What it really proves is how much this game guarantees we will all lose.

"I mean, if Sarah Silverman really believes that she has fat thighs, honestly BELIEVES it, then that? Is so messed up. And also, I'm so over this us versus them mentality, so it didn't really even occur to me that Sarah Silverman is considered a skinny woman or that the post would be at odds with the way some of us feel disenfranchised by Hollywood's beauty ideal. We're not skinny women and fat women. We're women. If we buy into the separatism, that's just as bad as them buying into it."

Well, yes, of course it's true that Sarah Silverman truly believing she has fat thighs is messed up. Of course. I think it's really important, though, not to lose sight of the difference between people who perceive themselves as fat (a lot of people) and people who actually are fat (also a lot of people), the latter being targeted by our society in a much more virulent and violent way than thin people who believe themselves to be fat. Sure, we're all exposed to the same bullshit media representations of perfection, but do we all get denied health insurance and jobs because of our weight? Do we all face angry and often violent street harrassment from people who feel they have license to comment on the size of our bodies? Are we all considered part of a horrifying "epidemic" that's sweeping the nation (and the world), and that we MUST BE STOPPED? No, we don't, and we aren't. There is a difference between believing yourself to be fat and being scapegoated for all the health problems in the world. We may all be women, and I do think solidarity is key, but I don't see acknowledging that fat people deal with altogether different issues as "buying into the separatism." It's just realistic. I think the "we're all women" thing can be a little reductive at times.

And of course, all of this is said in the spirit of discussion - I love your blog, and I love to read it every day. Or, um, many times every day. Yes.

I agree with you on many points, Abby, but I think it goes both ways. Fat girls should be pissed off about someone like a Vickie's Secret model getting chastised for having cellulite and non-fat girls should equally be pissed off about someone like Joy Nash being condemned by strangers for not having the body of the moment. It's kind of like straight people being pissed off that gay marriage isn't recognized nationally.

I'm not suggesting that it doesn't suck more in the world to be fat, it's a different issue entirely. Believe me, I know from the different issues that arise from being fat. I'm certainly not suggesting there aren't. But don't you think that the the fear of ostracization for fatness is really what's at stake in the Sarah Silverman situation AND a lot of our own? When a movie theatre seat is too tight, a judgment has been passed that "asses should be no larger than this". Sure, there's also the very real physical problem that where the hell do you sit when you just paid $10 to see Indiana Jones, but it's also one of a societal norm being broken.

I see this as a multi-pronged issue, all stemming from the same basic human instinct to be prejudice and in many ways can be compared with skin color and the desire to be lighter in other cultures. Does this philosophy demand a lot of mental paradigm shifting from both camps? Yes, it totally does. But I think the only way that we can affect social change is by having some uncomfortable discourse and pushing ourselves and others until we make it happen.

Agreed, on nearly all points. I guess I just don't see the "sucking more in the world to be fat" issue as a different one entirely. I think they're very much intertwined. And while I do think that it's important to laud celebrities who claim to be bucking the beauty standard (by embracing their "fat" thighs?), I just don't see it as comparing, really, to the hard work a fat girl has to do in the world every day to see herself as even vaguely acceptable.

But yes, fat girls do need to be pissed off about the VS model being chastised, and thin people do need to be pissed off about fat discrimination. I think it's a fairly widely accepted feminist perspective, at this point, to recognize that you can be a size 10-14 and be beautiful. But is it accepted in that same movement that you can be a size 24, or 32, or 50, and still be beautiful? By some people, yes. But not across the board, by any stretch. And I don't think that praising Sarah Silverman (who is certainly praiseworthy in some ways) does much to open the door for those people who are super-sized, for example. Not that her struggle isn't noteworthy. I just do think the differentiation is important.

Maybe I'm wrong about this. I hope I am.

"We're not skinny women and fat women. We're women."

I love that. I wish that we could all share that mentality... less harsh judgments would do wonders for everyones feelings about their own body image.

Good video!
Very uplifting!

Yes, we are all women. When skinny women are browbeaten into finding imperfections, it has the ripple effect of keeping the rest of us in line with the program that you are never skinny or perfect enough. Because if skinny women don't measure up, shouldn't the rest of us just shoot our unworthy selves? Or sign some big checks over to cosmetics/weight loss/plastic surgery people who can fix it?

But what many fat women don't understand about skinny women's self-kvetching is that sometimes the skinnies are trying, in a weird way, to create a solidarity with fat women--"see, I hate my looks, too." The problem is, that is solidarity ass-backwards. We should be saying together, "fuck these moron standards of beauty." That's a solidarity that is worth something.

OMG, this video is amazing. It's so positive and well done... I'm floored. I'd love to post it in my blog... it's just so good! Wow. Also, love all of the come-backs---- way to empower women!

Thanks so much, what you are doing is really incredible.
Sara

I'm sorry to tell you that models and celebrities, even the tall ones generally are NOT a size 10, even when they are pregnant. Uma Thurman, Charlize Theron (the only ones I can think of right now) are a size 6, at their largest times.

i am a blog-virgin (i'm 50, never thought i would use the word virgin in reference to myself)! so please forgive my lack of format. i just happened upon your video and was so greatly impressed. you totally rock! god bless you for your uplifting message.
sincerely, suzi q

I'm the one that commented about the other post that playing the "you've got nothing on my cellulite" game is a losing one for everybody. Which is why I don't really think it matters in terms of combatting prejudice-it all must be stopped and it really is hurting your own cause to say that nobody should discuss thin people with body issues.

The Fat Rant is genius on so many levels:

i) The Staircase Wit. I love the idea of being prepared with scripts for ready comebacks to comments you KNOW are coming. My personal fave - "The night is still young." Priceless!
ii) The whole "Are you pregnant?" thing. When I was actually pregnant people would get all sympathetic and sad over my weight gain! Believe it!
iii) The thirteen year old we used to be, hating our bodies when we were gorgeous all along. Pay that forward. Brilliant!

Lastly, there is another realm besides fat that allows people to be rude, and that's age. I'm a proud 54. Women like me get, "You look good... FOR YOUR AGE!" or "Have you considered Botox?" My friends say mother of the bride dresses come in two styles: matron and over the hill slut. You have to really hunt to find a sexy, classy, age-appropriate gown. Enough about me. Thank you, Joy Nash. Rant on!