Photo via Splash

Way back when Elastic Waist was a fetal blog, nary a week old, I proclaimed my profound love of Mindy Kaling from NBC's amazing show The Office. Once again, I must laud her brilliance on the intertubes and also, why hasn't she called me? Why, Mindy Kaling, why? Why do you deny what we both are feeling, that we are destined to be the very bestest of best friends? But I digress. Recently, Mindy's quest for proper hydration totally backfired. Via Oh No:

Here's a true story about me: I keep a plastic bottle of water near my bed at night so I can stay hydrated. Hydration is the key to great skin and being thin and lots of life's other happinesses, according to the many, many women's health magazines I subscribe to. So, one night, I drank a big gulp of water from my water bottle, turned off the light, and went to sleep, very pleased with myself. In the middle of the night, I heard a gunshot and immediately peed my pants. Well, to be accurate, I peed my pajamas. For those of you who haven't had the experience of peeing yourself, it's not just for children and the elderly. It can happen to anyone who is terrified and thinks that they will be murdered shortly. Well, it wasn't a gunshot. It was an indentation in my plastic water bottle un-indenting itself, loudly. It made a loud, plastic-y crack!, which I mistook for a gunshot. When I realized this, I felt relief...then a deep foolishness.

I probably should point out that a Nalgene or one of those old-timey bedside carafes or even this stupid thing wouldn't frighten you in the night. And of course, Mindy Kaling would KNOW this if she would return my calls. Sheesh.

By the way, if you can't make BlogHer in San Francisco this weekend, Mindy's going to be in Scranton, PA, hosting The Office Olympics this weekend. Go win your very own yogurt cap!