I don't approve of cheating at all. I think its just hurtful, and hateful. That being said - I've had friends who have had sex with married men, and I try not to judge. It isn't my place to say they are bad people. Don't get me wrong - I tell them that I think it sucks, but I don't think they are evil people. Maybe selfish, but not evil.
And seriously - what's up with the argument that gay marriage is one (or was it two?) steps away from cheating? Seriously? You said that?

I think that having sex is a married person is wrong. The wrong-doer is, in my opinion, the married person. This is because I think it is wrong to break the trust and vows of monogamy that one commits to when entering a union. If you are not getting sexual fulfillment from your union, leave it before cheating.

HOWEVER, I truly believe that life-long monogamy is highly unnatural. In fact, it was just recently that studies came out that even monogamous animals cheat (such as swans or wolves). The study proved that about 70% of all off spring have a different father than that of the life-long mate. So, animals do cheat.

The romantic in me likes to think of humans as serial monogamist. We like to go from one partner to the next--according to what we need at this time. Sometimes, a single person can be the "right" person for years and years. I hope that happens to me.

Hitha argued that "the institution of marriage is changing", and that if gay couples are allowed to wed, soon it will be societally acceptable to cheat.

Gay people are allowed to enter into a loving bond together, but that doesn't mean that they're more likely to cheat than a straight couple.
To my mind, cheating, or sleeping with someone who is married is immoral. To give you some perspective, in almost every country in the world, cheating is considered immoral to some degree. Do you know why this is? Because it always hurts someone. No exceptions. Cheating tears relationships to shreds, and no change in the institution of marriage is going to make it hurt less for woman or man being cheated on.

Is it wrong to sleep with a married man? Not if you're the spouse. Otherwise either you're being used, or breaking up a relationship that the man has vowed to be faithful in.

Is it always the other woman or man's fault? No. Often the man is a slimy, lying, SOB who's either lied about being married, or has said he's in the process of leaving his spouse, whether or not it's true. People lie.

I believe polygamy is illegal in this country, and I don't believe the great majority would want it, straight or gay. I don't even know what being gay has to do with it. Marriage is marriage.

Hint: You can tell if a man is married by the way he kisses. If they are, they kiss like they're stealing cookies.

funny/sadly enough, i slept with a married man for the first time this weekend. he was actually my college boyfriend over 10 years ago...he got married last summer, but throughout their relationship, he would come on to me, tell me he still loved me, etc. i never allowed myself to take it with more than a grain of salt, and refused to be with him when he had a girlfriend/fiancee...i'm not sure why i finally succumbed. i guess because there's this sense that he was mine before he ever met her. i know it's wrong, and i don't intend to keep it going, but we have a special -albeit sad- bond. i think their marriage is a total sham - she's basically a trophy wife. i think of us a lot like mr.big &
carrie...lame, but true. i would never specifically chase after a married guy, but he's been trying with me for years...i had a moment of weakness. right or wrong - it happens. we all have our issues. it's hard to take the moral high road 100% of the time.

I honestly don't think there's a good reason for sleeping with someone you know is married. And yes, the lion's share of that responsibility falls on the husband (he is, after all, the one with the vows), but why would a woman chose to degrade herself like that? It may seem romantic that a man is pursuing you despite it all, but please. You're being used for sex. And you're participating in something that's going to cause another woman a great deal of pain. Have more respect for yourself and for women as a whole. Please.
When my first husband started sleeping with the...woman he worked with, I had just given birth to our third child. I'm sure he told her LOTS of good reasons for why he needed her and what was so awful about me, but the truth is he was just a coward. Instead of dealing with our relationship and his own problems, he created this crisis in our lives. It was not constructive for anyone. In the end he was jobless, divorced, estranged from his children (not by my doing), and then his girlfriend left him for someone else. No one escaped without damage. NO sex is worth that.
I also don't understand how cheating animals fits in this discussion. Animals sometimes kill and eat their young, or participate in gang rape too. Does that make those activities somehow acceptable? We are human, and we do have the capacity to act in a level above that of instinct.

I've dated a lot of men, and I have been knowingly cheated on twice, once when I was 19 dating someone 11 years my senior (one of my 'best' friends was who he was cheating with) and once when I was 22 dating someone I helped deal with issues stemming from being molested at 5. The cheaters were the only ones who said they loved me. Truth is, they were both so fucked up in the head in so many ways, but I always feel like I should have been smarter or quicker or less naive. Like in some way, I should have been able to see it, but I know that's rubbish. Every so often, those thoughts come back, but they come back much less frequently and intensely these days.

Being the one who gets duped is the worst feeling in the world. I've been through utter hell getting to a point where I can exclusively date and trust the man I'm exclusively dating. I used to date 2 or 3 men at once; it was the only situation which was comfortable. The ones who made it to exclusivity never lasted more than 3 months. I could always trust them to be nonexclusive, but you can't guarantee exclusivity, you know?

I never lied about it, and I've never knowingly cheated. I always left when they wanted commitment. Being honest is the easiest thing. If you want to go fuck someone else, do it. But be honest about it. There's no shame in having a relationship not work.

Don't cheat, because revenge feels too good. To anyone who's thinking of cheating: seriously, don't do it, because the person getting fooled might be just as crazy as me and may believe in do-it-yourself karmic retribution as strongly as I do. Both of the above assholes ended up hysterically crying, but there was zero physical violence involved. I ripped them apart verbally. My former "best" friend? We don't speak, and she's scared shitless of me.

As it should be. She knows what she did.

...So, uh, yeah, I don't believe in cheating. :)

Sexual orientation has nothing to do with a person's likelihood to cheat. Gay people can have as happy or unhappy a marriage as straight people. I know I am echoing others' comments, but that Hitha would suggest the idea that same sex marriage is a step away from polygamy seriously disturbs me. Two people is still only two people regardless of their sex! Everyone should have the right to get married!!! Okay.

It is never ever okay to sleep with a married person. Of course a person who would cheat on his/her spouse is a coward and a jerk, but having sex with someone who you know is married is just as bad, and it is unhealthy. No one is perfect and we all make unhealthy choices. BUT I take responsibility for myself and respect myself (and marriage) enough to say that it is always wrong to participate in an affair.

I think that HABITUALLY sleeping with married men is often a form of self loathing. People who don't think anyone can really love them put themselves in a position where they don't really expect to be loved. Also, a fear of commitment. I don't know if they're more evil or pitiful.

wow, hitha, that seems like a very loaded statement to say that gay marriage is bringing us two steps away from legalized polygamy. as far as gay marriage, yes, the institution of marriage is changing, moving in a more openminded direction and becoming more accepting of love as it can be experienced between a heterosexual couple and a homosexual couple, but to make the next leap and say we're two steps away from polygamy seems kind of uniformed. you seem like a smart woman, so I'm wondering, were you saying that just for shock value? or do you actually think allowing gay marriage brings us two steps from polygamy? i'm confused. maybe you can clarify for us, because as it stands now, the comment seems pretty irresponsible.

sorry i've been a stranger for a few days again. kinda busy. i know - not a good excuse!

years ago i was with a man that i found out after the sexual fact (a few encounters) was married (or separated or so he said anyway). i felt pretty stupid for not asking first and didn't really think about it - i figured a person would let me know before getting 'involved' if they were, right? yeah. uh huh. i am a lot more skeptical now then i was then. I think many people cheat. Many folks forgive. Sometimes the damage is just ridiculous though. If more people would just say no to sex with folks who are committed to others, this wouldn't be happening. there are plenty of singles available. just look around. don't let some unhappily married or i can have my cake and eat it too type lure you in. don't go trying to prey on someone who is otherwise taken/involved. i consider folks who are dating/living together/whatever "taken" too. doesn't matter if there has been a ceremony or license signed, etc. if someone is involved they are off limits in my book period.

live and learn...

Risen Lord Jesus' Peace!
e.t./sue >> *:D (: +

i wonder if those tongue navigators for driving can be translated into sex toys... hmmm

'a little more to the left please...' 'now straight ahead...' maybe with voice activation/coaching? what a great product idea, eh? wanna go into business and make a fortune?

sexual gps navigation never get lost down there again! find your way with...

oh speaking of...er, sex...

http://www.dermadoctor.com/pages/newsletter265.asp

Not if he ruthlessly and aggressively persues you to the point where you pretty much fear rape from him and he knows where you live..and they won't fix the front door..

Hey, so long as he gives me cash and weed and doesn't infect me, I'm happy..

*sigghh*

I just looove feeling wanted!

I am sleeping with a married man. He is a personal trainer and im in love with him.Im friends with his wife and don't care if my husband or his wife finds out.I am a retired teacher and will love to break up hugo from his wife and kids . I have self esteem issues. I recently lost a lot of weight and come out in several commercials.One day he will leave her for me. I know this because she is too thin and has a boy body. I on the other hand have a big butt and breasts .I get very jealous of his friends. Especially the girl ones .I will continue to see him until he breaks up with his wife and leaves one of his current best friend girlfriends who is a lesbian and wanted to get in my pants,

I am sleeping with a married man. He is a personal trainer and im in love with him.Im friends with his wife and don't care if my husband or his wife finds out.I am a retired teacher and will love to break up hugo from his wife and kids . I have self esteem issues. I recently lost a lot of weight and come out in several commercials.One day he will leave her for me. I know this because she is too thin and has a boy body. I on the other hand have a big butt and breasts .I get very jealous of his friends. Especially the girl ones .I will continue to see him until he breaks up with his wife and leaves one of his current girl best
friend who is a lesbian and wanted to get in my pants,I turned her down and now hope he stops talking to her. I hate her.She also knows im sleeping with him. If i have to lye to get him away from her i will .. love you hugo