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 I had a moment this past weekend at the gym--an embarrassing moment. There I was minding my own business, working on my triceps, when I heard moaning. This was not run-of-the-mill gym groaning; this was late-night, Cinemax, dirty movie moaning. I obviously did what any normal person would do: I looked for the guy getting off in the weight room. There he was in the corner, not pleasuring himself as I would have assumed, but doing bicep curls. And then it happened. I started laughing. This was not a smirk and a little giggle, this was out loud, nonstop, people staring, can't-finish-my-tricep-pull-down laughing, and I just couldn't stop. It took me a while to recover, especially because with each continued rep this man made sweet love to his biceps, and my inner eighth-grader could not be quieted. Since I'm perpetually embarrassing myself, the process of it is getting easier, especially the little things. Five embarrassing gym moments that are no sweat: 1. Farting. Treadmill, step class, weight lifting...it happens to everyone. All that jumping around is bound to move something. Luckily, most people are plugged into their iPods and don't notice a thing. 2. The yoga queef. It's like the treadmill fart, only so much worse, so unavoidable, and usually in the midst of a quiet tranquil yoga class. Inverted poses send fear into the minds of women everywhere. Ask your vajayjay to use its indoor voice and get back to plow position. Doing your Kegels can also help prevent this embarrassing moment; one more reason to have personal training for your lady parts. 3. More weight than you can handle. It's great that you think you're a weightlifting warrior. Self-confidence never hurt anyone. But, if you can't handle a weight, there's no shame in movin' on up the stacks of weights to a lighter variety. No one is watching, I promise. 4. Running into someone you know in the locker room-naked. I now know that one of my coworkers has a tattoo on her breast. It's not something I ever wanted to know, but I'm always looking for blackmail fodder. In awkward locker room situations, it's best just to say hi and move right along. 5. Inconvenient sweat stains. Sweaty butt, crotch, boobs--it's not ideal, but if there's one place that you have license to be drenched in sweat it's the gym. You're working hard; even your butt is sweating, be proud and/or consider wicking workout gear. Guy from the gym: I'm sorry. As for the rest of you: if you have
embarrassing gym time moments, please share. It'll make the rest of us
feel oh-so-much better. 7 CommentsLeave a comment |
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I don't think you laughing out loud was cause for embarrassment...some people bring it on themselves. I had a woman in my yoga class (I was the teacher) wearing an oversize t-shirt and NO BRA. Who goes to the gym without a bra of any type? That's asking for embarrassment, and she got it - very first down dog.
So I just switched from a mom-and-pop hole in the wall gym to one of those commercials-on-tv meatmarket types. The change in itself is drastic; i find myself shaving my legs before donning running shorts, wearing fitted tops, and even looking in the mirror before i work out. That in itself is bad, but it got worse the other day during a particularly grueling badass run. i tried to be awesome and hop to the sides of the 'mill, without stopping it, to get a drink. What ACTUALLY happened is my right leg slid off the side and I went down like a ton of bricks. Flew right off the treadmill. But boy, I hope someone got a good laugh out of it!
Almost as embarrassing as an audible treadmill fart is the Silent Stinker. When you walk into a fart cloud on the track you KNOW the person walking ahead of you is the culprit, so you can bet it works the other way 'round. I hate leaving fart gifts for my fellow gym-goers. Almost as much as I hate receiving them.
I put on eyeshadow and eyeliner before going to the gym. I'm so worried that someone will think I am too ugly to be working out! It's the oddest thing!
But anyways, I was doing ab work last week and... queefed. I think the girl next to me on the mats heard me but I was so embarrassed that I just kept crunching away.
I've fallen on my ass in step class before, hard enough to bounce--just tangled up in my own feet, I guess. I've also toppled over in yoga with an incredibly noisy thud on the hardwood; screw your peaceful meditation, fellow yogis!
But my best move--which I might have posted somewhere on this site before--was in a step class where the instructor also had us do a little toning; we would hold the top slab of the step--the riser, I guess?--across our outstretched forearms and do bicep curls with it. And I did my first curl too zealously and cracked myself square in the face. WITH THE STEP.
Kim, That is hilarious! I agree, farting is oh so embarrassing. Especially when it is stinky and someone is in smell-distance of it.
One of the more embarrassing things for me is walking around the gym and tripping on the equipment when going through them, like on the foot rest or some weird bar that hangs out...Also, the carpetting and clunky running shoes don't mix, and I feel so embarrassed when I trip on my own foot on the carpet. lol. And since I'm all tired from running 3 miles, gaining balance when tripping is pretty funny looking.