One of my primal joys in life--aside from a really satisfying horizontal mambo and the sheer ecstasy of finding designer shoes in my size and on sale--is some mind-blowing high-quality chocolate. I let it sit on my tongue and wait for it to soften and then start to melt, sending my little brain neurons into a frantic overload as they rush to fill synapses with a few seconds of all encompassing bliss. Reese's? M&Ms? Child's play, mon amis. I'm talking the good stuff from Europe, preferably with an unpronounceable brand name. Chocolate so exquisite that you only need one little square to scratch that itch and then after it liquefies, you don't eat or drink anything for awhile, as it would affect your afterglow.

And now? I cannot even believe that this hasn't made bigger news, but our chocolate crop is at risk! Why has no one stopped the presses? Industry insiders are predicting that in 20 years, the simple joy of chocolate will become so expensive that the average consumer won't be able to afford it regularly. Like, "a tank of gas" expensive! From CNN:

The problem is that cocoa is naturally a rainforest plant that grows in shady conditions surrounded by a high biodiversity, but recently hybrid varieties have been grown on cleared land as mono-cultures and in full sun.
While this will give higher short term yields, the soil quickly becomes degraded and the lifespan of plants can be cut from 75 or 100 years, to 30 or less. When the trees die and the land is exhausted the farmers must move on and clear more rainforest to plant cocoa.

Think of the implications, my darlings! No more warm gooey chocolate chip cookies, fresh from the oven. No brownies or cakes or Starbucks mochas. No baskets full of Easter goodies, no red and green Hershey's Kisses in December. No chocolate coins. No frozen ice cream treats. Gone. Kaput. All because we can't figure out how to manage our natural resources without killing the planet.

This inspires me to increase my 401(k) contribution, because seriously, my retirement years are clearly going to be spendy.