Pass me a Twinkie and you will have both satisfied my sweet tooth and renewed my will to live, as well as havinng provided me exactly the level of quality and artificial preservatives I crave--I have never really considered myself a gourmet.

Except Recchiuti makes me want to become gourmet, to only dine on the finest of confections off the most silken of pillows while having my feet oiled with expensive scented unguents. At the San Francisco Ferry Building this weekend, we spent a long, long time bending over the display cases and reading the descriptions of Recchiuti's unique gourmet chocolates slowly and with great relish. There was a wedge of Kona Coffee dark chocolate, and a puck of salted peanut butter and a creamy cinnamony caramel chocolate that made me want to lie down and weep awhile, wondering why chocolatiers do not live in my house. If anything can make me forsake the Ding Dong forever, a star anise and pink peppercorn chocolate may do it. Order online! Eat slowly. Repeat.