One Starbucks barista has decided to take the fate of Mary-Kate Olsen's weight into their own hands. It seems that Miss Olsen often orders a grande nonfat latte but the barista has started giving her whole milk instead. The barista's stealth switcheroo is sneaking an extra 90 calories and 11 grams of fat into her lo-octane drink.

I can commiserate. I'm allergic to milk fat and if my standard order of nonfat no whip vanilla mocha should accidentally get the Starbucks' default 2% milk or the usual whipped cream topper, I will spend the rest of the day with a stuffy nose, a partially obstructed breath passage and avoiding even the tiniest bit of dairy. I don't blame the baristas, though, because I figure that they make so many mochas that grabbing the whipped cream gun is an automatic. Given that I'm overweight, I would never suspect nefarious goals..."Let's make this fat girl even fatter!" Usually when people do something against your wishes that has no benefit for themselves, it's because they think they're doing you a favor. Of course, last time I checked, both Olsen girls were of legal age and capable of making their own decisions. Even though we all might secretly think that MK needs to eat a cheeseburger, I doubt any of us would try to trick her into doing so.

Granted, I am kind of surprised that Olsen can't tell the difference between the two tasty bevs. I mean, really, I know that I'm hyper-sensitive but I can taste the difference between nonfat and 1% milk, so whole milk's dense mouth feel is pretty recognizable to me. I kind of think that they're both assy, quite honestly: the barista for having the audacity to assert his or her power over a celebrity through the passive-aggressive bait and switch, and Olsen for, you know, being Mary Kate Olsen.

The comments want a venti triple shot 125° nonfat five pumps of vanilla syrup no whip mocha.