Photo via Splash

Remember when Catherine Zeta-Jones did the amazing song and dance number from Chicago at the Oscars when she was a million months pregnant? Okay, she was eight months pregnant but you could practically hear the baby humming harmony. I have honestly never been more entranced by a musical number at the Academy Awards, and I suspect most of the viewing audience felt similarly, though perhaps we were expecting her water to break during the chorus and Jack Nicholson would rush up to deliver. (Because that? Would have rocked.) Not a lot of pregnant ladies would have had the tenacity to go up and rock the mic and beaded gown when they were toting 50 pounds of baby+gushy stuff, but Cat delivered. And the world fell a little bit in love with her in that moment and maybe wanted to steal her away from the mummified remains of her antique husband. (Sorry, I have always found MD to be extremely skeevy).

And now? Girlfriend is rocking a little muffin top and (natch) taking a wee bit of heat for it in the gossip blogs, with people arguing about whether or not she might be again knocked up or just retaining water. This is when I roll my eyes, because seriously, who can look at this woman's stomach when her face is SO UNBELIEVABLY GORGEOUS! And that rack? Those curves? Puh-lease, people. Wasn't everyone crying the A-word just six months ago? When will she ever be good enough? Reign in the catty bullshit a little bit, huh? This particular Welsh diva has definitely earned a little more kindness than we're dishing out. Get over it and instead distract yourself with the fantasy of participating in a threesome with her and Brad Pitt in Ocean's Fourteen.

Totally off-topic, but if they ever make a movie with Nigella Lawson as a character, wouldn't CZJ be perfect?