Dior thinks that your eyelashes, while fabulous, could be even fuller, thicker, longer, more lush, a little over the top. Dior wants you to blow people off their feet, put out forest fires, and knock a wobble into the rotation of the earth when you blink. Big, plush lashes look good on everyone--they frame your expressive eyes, they make you look terribly dramatic. Who doesn't like to look a little dramatic, sometimes? I splurge on Diorshow (which is admittedly pretty pricey for a tube of mascara), and I look totally dramatic all the time. Plus, giant lashes are better than air conditioning in the heat of the summer. Handy!

But this is not news--Diorshow has been out, and beloved, for a while now. What's changed is Dior's renewed commitment to the giantest of lashes, with their new lash kit. Not only do you get a full-sized tube of the mascara, you get a set of, frankly terrifying, fake eyelashes. That is commitment to largeness, right there. That is dedication to the dramatic. That is maybe good for the nighttime look, maybe not so much yoga class. And yet--why can't I have them all the time? Thank you, Dior, for tempting me. I'll be a drag queen yet.