Well, I never thought it was an "iconic feminist" show. But I always loved it and here's why I loved it and why so many women loved it, in my opinion: It's not about sex, it's not about men, it's mainly about a group of friends. Wonderful, loyal women friends. A group of them that all are friends together. That meet at LEAST once a week and are all pursuing their fabulous jobs that they LOVE. As a woman chasing a dream while stuck in many time consuming, soul sucking awful day jobs, who can not- NOT get her friends all together at any given point anymore let alone to all be fabulous friends who love each OTHER as well as me, I DREAM of a life these ladies lead. I've always wanted that group of friends. That little group that meets at least every week and hangs out and goes out and is loyal through and through. I have a lot of wonderful friends in my life. But getting together with just ONE of them is hard these days what with all our insane schedules. And while I have tried to get my closest friends to all be close with one another too, that has always failed as well. Sure they will maybe be friends and I may be friends with my friends' friends, but never in this type of way. I've always wanted that kind of group of friends. I haven't really had it since high school. And even then the friendships were perilous and often frought with tension between the girls. So... in my opinion, watching this group of women go through life together while pursuing their wonderful jobs, going through relationship drama and wearing fabulous shoes and clothes? Well, that's about as close to that life as I will ever get. It's a fantasy. And it's a great one. Yet, it's one that many women don't ever quite achieve. Yet they hope to. If there is anything really "feminist" or "empowering" about it to me, it's the fact that this group of four women stay friends and make time for each other throughout the years and the changes in their lives and they aren't constantly backstabbing and behind the back bitching about each other all the time. They are truly friends and that's a good thing for women to learn. To GET ALONG with and maybe even support other women and not be constantly trying to compete with them. And, it sounds like the episodes you saw were the very early ones and well, the show kind of evolved a lot the first couple of seasons so, it might be worth a second look at the later seasons. Then again, as much as I agree with you about so many things, I loved Eat,Pray,Love (though I did not think it changed my life- I just realy enjoed the book) and you hated it. So, perhaps Sex and the City is just not the show for you. Which is also fine. But if you want a truer representation of the show I would watch some of the later seasons.

Please, Sex and the City is all for fun! It's not supposed to take on serious issues or even make sense for that matter...It's all about the fun, silly things in life, which is what we all need sometimes!!

I admit that I'm one of the people going around being breathlessly excited about the movie. I've watched (and own, and rewatch) all 6 seasons, and I still love them, down to my very core.

The thing is, they make me feel better. It makes me feel better to think there are these women who *seem* to have it all -- amazing friends, great jobs, great wardrobes, beautiful apartments, and otherwise perfect New York City lives -- STILL go a little crazy and do stupid things like "stalking the boy they like at church or giving in to his creepy manipulations to have a threesome, or getting mad that someone they dumped found someone else so they call him and make him come running back".

Because as much as I hate to admit it, I've done that stuff too, or at least stuff that is similar enough to make me cringe and laugh in recognition.

And I don't necessarily think it's the ultimate feminist movement and going to change the way women live, but I do think there's something a little revolutionary in openly talking about the things we'd usually only admit to our very closest friends.

Also, I'd agree with the above commentor that you should try some of the later seasons -- it was really season 4 onwards that got me.

Yeah, for me it's about the friendships. (The episode where Carrie's diaphragm gets stuck? And Samantha helps her get it out? Seriously, that's touching. Or am I just a freak?)

(Also - there are at least two other threesome storylines, both of which are more interesting than Charlotte's. In one, Samantha's man wants a threesome for his birthday, and she grapples with what it means. In another, two gay men invite Samantha to bed.)

Yeah, it was never meant to be an "iconic fementist" show. It's a fluffy, funny show that should never have been taken too seriously but ended up getting completely overhyped so folks tried to put more into it than was there. I think the biggest reason this has happened is because of what andrea said. You've been there. Sure, the situations are enlarged and extreme for the humor aspect, but at the core of the situation, you have been there. For example, there's one episode where Charlotte is dating a REALLY bad kisser. Other than that he's great, but SUCH A BAD kisser. She tries to find a way to make it work, tries coaching him and all that, but in the end it turns out to be a deal breaker. I actually said to the TV "I've so been there!" Also, yes they are grown ups, they have good jobs and they have good friends and in most ways they have it together, but then they have the places where they slip, and they do silly, stupid things, just like the rest of us who are trying so hard to Keep It Together.

It's escapism. It was never meant to be taken seriously. It hits certain touchstones for a lot of women, and that's great, but ultimately it's just silly fun.

The show was *supposed* to be feminist because of the frank discussions about sex. These gals had some randy brunches.

The foursome represents dimemsions of Everywoman: Charlotte, the traditional side, reared to be pretty and pleasing; Miranda, ambitious and clever; Samantha, the whore to Charlotte's shadow madonna; and Carrie, the voice within all of us, the analytical narrator who tried to make sense of modern womanhood.

I made myself watch almost every episode to feel in step with "women in the popular market." Mostly, I was distracted by the clothes, shoes and impossibly huge and expensive real estate. It also pissed me off that, most of the time, the guys these women slept with were as ugly as my ass.

Two episodes really resonated with me: Charlotte giving Carrie her engagement/wedding ring set so Carrie could save her apartment. And Carrie registering for bridal gifts to illustrate to her judgmental mom friend that getting married and having kids is much more extravagant than the married-with-kids set might think -- and other people really help foot the bill.

I liked the show "Sex And The City", but I probably won't see the movie. Mostly because they took too long to make the movie, and frankly, I just don't care about the characters anymore, and in the time since it's been off the air, my disdain for Sarah Jessica Parker has grown. (Sorry SJP fans. I just don't get it.) I agree with the other commentors that the later seasons are better. All the characters became richer, and a little more... human, I guess. Except the Carrie character, who I've always thought was the most boring part of that show.

I did enjoy the friendship that the characters shared. There are very few shows where characters put so much on the line for each other when they're not forced to because they're related. I have no idea if that makes sense, but the relationship between the characters was the most endearing part of the show, in my opinion.

i haven't read the other comments so i'm sorry if i repeat anything. almost everyone i talk to hated the show initially. it is pretty ridiculous and stupid- especially their clothes! but there is just something about it. once i started watching it i just loved it, and now i can't get enough. it is one show that i will watch over and over and no matter how many times i have seen the episode on, i will still watch.

Amen sister! I never understood the attraction either! I even lived in Manhattan during the filming. 'Carrie' was supposed to live in my hood apparently and they filmed there A LOT. You think I'd at least get into it because of that. But not one episode kept my attention for more than 10 minutes. And I tried. I gave it a fair shot. I did. Ho hum.

I watched a number of episodes on dvd. I found them to be morally reprehensible, so I moved on.

Now, do you want me to tell you how I REALLY feel? :-)

Obviously, I won't be seeing the movie.

I think the passage of time since SATC was at it's peak is mainly responsible for the way 'newbies' will feel about it now.

The whole "feminist iconic" thing stemmed from the fact that it was one of the first shows - wait, THE first show - to portray women talking openly and frankly about sex.

They often refer to the fact that as long is sex is consensual and safe, then it's perfectly healthy and acceptable.

This was a massive breakthrough at the time! Suddenly women were allowed to talk to each other about masturbation, sex toys, and other queries about what was going on "down there". It brought women together, but nowadays, we are so used to talking about sex, we forget how taboo it once was - we have SATC to thank for that change.

I started out hating it because it was such a fad, and now I own it all on DVD. Man , I'm a huge sell-out. :)

What did it for me were a few things.

1. The sex convos. It's about time someone came out and wrote the things that I think on some level go through the majority of women's heads! To anyone who's ever been on a sports team and spent some time in a girls' locker room in college... I mean, ladies talk. Now it's "ok" to do it over brunch. Hallelujah.

2. The dating. I went to school at NYU, and I always dated Manhattan men. Not NYU students. I got such a kick out of watching the caricatures of my relationships onscreen. Hell, I briefly dated a man who was obsessed with giving oral sex, and I did it because... well, I was curious. I felt like a bit of a sellout bc I only saw him when I wanted to and never invited him out with friends because he was just good for the sex. And I saw that episode and I practically peed my pants laughing! Nixed those sellout feelings hardcore... I just felt like a badass. :)

3. The fashion. It's artistic, far too glam for real life, but because it's so well done, you can extrapolate how to make it work in real life the same way as when you read Vogue. I love Samantha's bold colors, Charlotte's skirts, Carrie's artistic statements, and Miranda's suit lines.

4. I miss Manhattan. I miss the rush, the bustle, the energy, and the promise of something wildly new waiting around every corner. The art and the parties. The next new little boutique hidden somewhere. SatC is great for the scenery. :)

I concur with others that in some ways, its just fun escapism. I got into it in grad school, living in a crappy blue-collar town a million miles from almost everyone I cared about, so watching it gave me a chance to imagine what it would like to have a successful career and fabulous girlfriends. I actually started watching it initially with women who became my fabulous girlfriends. Sometimes I would get bitter watching, because they seemed to live these ridiculously priveleged lives and seemed completely oblivious to any other lifestyles (I mean Carrie was portrayed as the least financially stable, and yet the woman barely seemed to work and bought $400 pairs of shoes as a habit) but there were some episodes that were so honest and well written, I still get teary after watching them a half a dozen tims. One was the episode when Miranda's mom dies and her family freaks out because she'll be walking down the aisle after the coffin alone (all the other sibs are married) so Carrie steps out of the pew and walks wit her. The other was the episode when Miranda was planning on getting an abortion. I thought it was one of the only times I've ever seen an open discussion of abortion that reflected the seriousness, but didn't make it mellow-dramatic. I agree with others that it has some great examples of female friendships in a world where we see a lot of silly cat-fighting. It's certainly not everyone's cup of tea, but it made my laugh and cry during some otherwise frustrating times.

(note: I haven't read the other comments)
I completely agree with you, you're not alone, and I've met others who agree.

I think it's because most people don't have a "healthy" relationship with sex... we as a society, still fail our girls and women (and boys and men!) about the true splendor, simplicity, complexity, beauty, etc. of sexuality.

Really, the characters do act childish. And heck, we all know it's "the thing" to be younger and younger...

sigh.

The show offends me because it sets the bar so painfully low and pretends to be LIBERATION LADIES!

sigh... :-(

satc is amazing, but i can see where you wouldn't love it if you only watched an episode or two... from episode to episode there are a lot of minor things that can seem kinda silly taken out of context. i think the broader themes that emerge after watching several seasons are what make the show so wonderful. the show has nuances and layers that wouldn't emerge after a few episodes, or even a season if you're really slow to like it.... so if you want to try to "get" the hype, i'd say rent season 3-6, watch them and THEN write an entry about this. don't feel pressure to watch them or like them enough to get to the good stuff that comes with the seasons taken together, but i'd also encourage you to think twice about posting critical blogs about them if you don't really know what they entail on a grander scale. after all, i think people wouldn't really trust movie critics or book reviewers or restaurant critics if they just watched a few minutes, read a few pages or ate a few bites of one dish : )

You are missing the boat, a bit. Take a saturday or sunday, rent the first season, and then the rest, consecutively. Admittedly, the first 6 episodes aren't as good as the rest, and I beleive it's because the actresses were just beginning and weren't familiar with eachother and comfortable. You will fall in love with it. It's about women, and the closeness they have through their friendships. It's a life I wish I had for about 5 years of my life-but unfortunately never had. I live vicariously through them.
Try it then repost your opinion--please.