Eat this, not that, avoid chemmies, don't eat a lot of fat, skip the fake sugar...argh! I'm getting overwhelmed by what I can and cannot put in my mouth this week. This week, I made a concerted effort to eat more fruits and veggies and then I realized that my gorgeous organic strawberries that are one of the few things that I would happily choose over a McGriddle have a tremendously guilty amount of carbs. Not carbohydrates...carbon points. You see, they were flown in from Mexico. And my apples came from California, along with the Driscoll's raspberries that are oh-so-delicious. And the banana I ate as a snack while watching America's Next Top Model? It came from Colombia. A single airplane flight throws more nasty crap into the air than an entire year of driving a gas-guzzling SUV. What's a girl to do if our food choices affect more than just her own body, but also the fate of the entire freaking planet? I don't know that I'm going to survive the post-Earth Day guilt.

It's one thing to drive a Prius and tote a PVC water bottle, but damn, when you realize that the methane from livestock causes almost 20 percent more greenhouse gases than our transportation (not to mention the pollution of the ground water), suddenly that beef stir-fry feels a little less wholesome. And let us not speak of the double whammy when you buy a wedge of French brie. What can you do to lessen the carbon footprint of your dinner plate? Here are five suggestions to consider:

• Choose frozen over fresh. That delicious diver scallop or fresh apricot in November probably has more frequent flier miles than you do. Five star chefs are starting to pick fish that is flash-frozen at sea because it's indistinguishable from fresh on the plate.
  

• Ditch the packaged, over-processed crap. Is this a mantra yet? It should be! Not only is it sketchy, but the mass-production of these things you don't find in nature consumes a ton of energy.

• Repeat after me: Regional and seasonal! Farmer's markets are the place to see and be seen, of course, but for those of us who live in areas with limited growing seasons, consider planning ahead and buying 20 pounds of fresh local blueberries so that you can freeze them for pies and pancakes in the snowy months. This might mean asking your grandmother how to can tomatoes. Quelle retro!

• Minimize your beef and dairy. Two words, folks: cow farts.

• Make your booze eco-conscious. Your area's microbrews and wineries don't get as much cred as their European counterparts, but you'll earn hipster points by embracing local fare. Or you could consider making your own hooch too.