There are vaccines for measles, flu, small pox and tetanus, but what if there were a vaccine that reduced your risk of obesity? The dudes in white coats have identified a weird human adenovirus--AD-36-- that seems to not only make your fat cells fatter but also encourages the growth of new fat cells. Researchers aren't clear on the connection between the bug and how it turns on the plump mechanism, but they are currently working on the connection. In research, the virus was present in 30 percent of obese subjects and 11 percent of lean subjects, so while there seems to be a connection, being fat doesn't necessarily mean that you must have AD-36 floating around in your bod, and testing positive for the virus doesn't necessarily sentence you to a lifetime of squeezing into movie seats.

Suddenly the idea of obesity being contagious isn't quite so laughable.

Also, if there really is a viral connection, then some extra poundage is no more immoral than a case of the sniffles. This does beg the question of antidotes, though. If there's a wiggly critter that's linked to some of us to bust out of our skinny jeans, then it's only a matter of time before medical science figures out the deal and some way to stop or reverse it, or at least figures out how that 11 percent of subjects are able to defy the odds.

On those mornings when I can't get dressed because I hate every single thing in my closet, I predict that I'm going to be seriously tempted to call in a sick day, stating, "I think I have that AD-36 virus thing that's floating around. Trust me, you do NOT want to catch this." It sounds so much better than calling in "fat."