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My ex's go-to relaxation channel was The Food Network. And because of that, we used to watch hour after hour. I kind of can't stand The Food Network, and not just because Rachael Ray makes me want to beat her with sticks, Alton Brown is kind of a pedantic asshole, Sandra Lee's boobs are always hanging down into her disgusting can-of-mushroom-soup monstrosities that even I wouldn't cook, and Ina Garten's husband is probably gay and she doesn't even know it and she loves him so much and it makes me so sad and Giada De Laurentiis has the biggest head in the world, oh my God. Mostly, it is because I am sensitive to the fact that I am not a good cook, and did not understand how I could go from being, essentially, me to being someone who can be inspired by and cook like them. So I stopped watching, for a long time.
Then, awhile back, I asked how the hell am I supposed to learn how to cook, please? and Sea Hag mentioned The Food Network, and I thought, huh. Well, there's a blast from the past. And I have been watching it, in bits and pieces, but rushing to turn it off after a little bit, because I still feel so strangely intimidated, with their clarified butter and their trips through the South of France for fresh ingredients. Then I ran across Food Network Musings, a blog by a fan of the network, who is also a cook herself, and a sharp critic, and it is marvelously refreshing to know that hey! They're not always right, these teevee chefs! Hey, sometimes, they're dumb! And that is comforting. And familiar. Now if only they would set something on fire, I'd feel right at home. 11 CommentsLeave a comment |
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Ok, slightly off-topic (or at least parenthetical - but I do love me some parentheses)...I have ALWAYS thought Ina's husband Geoffrey was gay. I mean, he's GOT to spell it with the "Geo", right ? I've never looked it up, but he's that type to me....
Anyway, it does make me sad how much she pines for him and when he comes into the videos he looks pained and uncomfortable.
The food is pure delicious porn, but their relationship leaves me sad.
Hi Anne,
Thanks for the nice words. I really appreciate it.
I can't agree about Jeffrey. I love him to bits. But as for various Food Network hosts (many can't really be called chefs) there are quite a few doozies these days. But Michael Chiarello is the best teacher, even if he's on at the fairly unwatchable times of 7 AM! on Saturdays and 11:30 AM during the week.
Great blog. You and buddies are so amusing and greaatly entertaining.
Hi again!
That was me...What happened?
Bye,
Sue
foodnetworkmusings.blogspot.com
You should Netflix the original Julia Child 'French Chef' series. It's badass vintage Julia for starters, which is super fun to watch. And it teaches you basic techniques and builds your confidence. Learning that stuff will make it so you feel good about winging it in the kitchen later on.
Pluis, she's trying to actively TEACH you, not make an entertaining bit of food porn.
I think Jeff may not be gay, that just may be the satisfied smirk of a well fed man. And even if he is gay, I think Ina might be ok with that. Especially considering she seems to be the biggest Gay Auntie in her neighborhood.
I hate to cook, can't cook, but oddly enjoy the Food Network. But mostly I enjoy the crazy cooking competitions when every goes nuts and starts yelling. It reminds me of growing up.
As much as I agree that Rachael Ray has become increasingly irritating over time, I really did start to learn to cook by trying the 30 Minutes Meals (buy the original cookbook and then you don't have to watch the show). They were approachable, pretty easy and quick (although some longer than 30 min if you've never chopped an onion and take a while to do so) and they generally turned out pretty well. I couldn't cook to save my life when I started grad school, and now I can create a decent variety of edible things. I think the best way to learn is to do, not watch. I enjoy some shows on Food Network (but I'm in Canada, and we get more of the British shows that you do in the US-god how I adore Nigella) but I rarely cook what I see on those shows. Go figure.
The only Food Network show I ever wind up cooking from is Everyday Italian (also from the cookbook, which I highly recommend); but Giada really does have a huge head!!
That Jeffrey is the gayest of the gays.
However! You should really read MFK Fisher. Start with Long Ago in France and move on to The Gastronomical Me.
On the serious. You'll love them.
Wow. I agree with you across the board, and what's funny is that, though I've never seen Contessa's husband, I can't stand watching her because she strikes me as stretched beyond tight with repression, and what I always thought she was repressing was that her husband is gay. (I am that good!)
My sister-in-law has done a lot of work for food network. I can cook, but I'm no chef, and it is she who helped me understand that just because you have a show doesn't mean you can cook. And lately the network is moving further away from the chefs and more to the Sandra Lee's. (Does anyone remember CeeCee Carmichael? She was worse than Sandra Lee.)
I'm looking forward to checking out that blog.
Oh... pick yourself up the Fannie Farmer cookbook. It is a great learning cookbook but with excellent recipes. And the old Julia Child footage is a good recommendation. And though I hate Rachel, and she's no chef, her recipes probably are a good place to start. Just don't try to match her timeline, and you'll be fine.
I almost peed when I read this post! These are the same things I scream to the television when I cannot pry myself away. Although I'm surprised you didn't mention how Bobby Flay has that whole arrogant frat douchebag who won't leave you alone at the bar thing goin on for him.
Have you seen Giada's husband ?
I honestly think he is gay. It's no so much he is a fashion designer for women's clothing....but the way he interacts with his wife. It's almost like she adores him more than he does her.