Yesterday, we learned that nothing is more divisive than Valentine's Day. We either love the hell out of the conversation hearts and roses, loathe everything that Valentine's Day stands for (usually blaming Hallmark) or spend the day in a semi-wounded state, brooding on what could be if we were only with that special someone who just doesn't know what they are missing. There's no way someone who is broken-hearted or channeling Oscar the Grouch can find any kind of inspiration in a seriously schmoopie playlist, so we've custom tailored one Valentine's-centric playlist for each camp.

For the Cupid:

For the secret Emo kid who can't stop listening to Dashboard Confessional:

And for the embittered soul who wishes everyone would just shove one of those heart-shaped candy boxes straight up their poop chute: