It's Eating Disorder Awareness Week. There aren't any special ribbons for Anorexia, Bulimia or Binge Eating Disorder that we know of. As Meme Roth stated on The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet, the incidence of deaths from anorexia are pretty low when compared to those suffering from it (and those who don't even realize that they're dealing with it) but you have to know that it's not doing your body any favors to deprive it of valuable nutrients for long periods of time. Eating less than 500 calories a day? Yikes!

There's often a lashback against Binge Eating Disorder because, unlike the anorexics and bulimics who sometimes look scary skinny, folks suffering from BED often aren't as easily recognizable in the midst of this so-called "obesity epidemic." What's the visual difference between someone who is doing a lot of compulsive eating, to the tune of thousands of extra calories at a time, and someone who is "just fat"?

And with the stigma in society against obesity, BED is the third Supreme that no one ever notices, standing in the shadow of a Diana Ross and Mary Wilson (and yes, I just compared eating disorders to the mofo Supremes). And while weight is often an indicator of an eating disorder gone out of control, you can totally develop anorexia when you're overweight, except then you just get praised for doing such a good job on your diet, and vice versa. The only difference between a bulimic and someone who has BED is that the bulimic purges their binge.

I have, quite honestly, a very messed up relationship with food. I have spent the greater part of my 20s trying to get past my propensity to binge eat, starve myself, or purge through various means. A lot of my food issues were resolved through practicing Intuitive Eating and reading a bunch of Geneen Roth books (which are a good starting point if you can't afford therapy). I still get weird about food sometimes. I never realized that I did this until Esteban pointed it out, but for years and years, he could tell when I was under a lot of stress because in the middle of a conversation, I would report to him everything I ate that day, as though he cared that I had a hummus sandwich or something. It was a need for approval on what I was eating, though, which is one of the markers of disordered eating. Food is food! Something you stick down your gullet. It's so frustrating to me, because why is it so emotionally charged? And yet, it totally is. And in reality, eating disorders have nothing to do with food and everything to do with control.

But what about you? Do you ever feel like you don't deserve to eat a piece of chocolate cake? Do you ever throw something away and then go pull it back out of the garbage? Do you hide evidence of having eaten from your friends or family? Do you have a problem eating in front of strangers or your family? Do you ever announce that you haven't eaten all day so that people won't judge you for what you're about to stick in your mouth? Do you ever eat a full meal, even when you're not hungry? Have you ever been intimately familiar with the wrong end of your toothbrush? Do you equate being thin with being good?

The comments are wondering if you need thinspiration.