It's a weapon to stab your personal trainer with when they've pushed you just a little too far?

You shoot it at your food and it moves it around so you have to run after it.

Some sort of calorie/fat/other nutritional information food tester?

I'm betting on a fat massager?

I look at it, and all I see is sex toy, albeit a sex toy for dorks.

"I'm sorry, ma'am, but that last planet we landed on was populated with killer spores which might have impregnated you. I'll just have to whip out this testing device in order to make sure that you are not going to give birth to a giant gooey alien."

"Oh, Captain Kirk, your probe is so....big."

Guess that's the wrong answer. If that's not it, I'll have to go with "device to measure body fat."

is it one of those underwater dohickeys that you hold onto to make yourself speed through the water like a dolphin?

Being as asthmatic, I'm going to guess it's for measuring lung capacity/use/ish/ness.

If Jean-Luc Picard were holding it, I wouldn't care WHAT it was, as long as he was using it on me!

It looks like Batman's grappling hook, kinda.

I have no idea what this thing is.

Some sort of body fat measurer-er? Er?

maybe the harpoon part goes down your throat and pulls out that last pork chop i shouldn't have eaten!

It's always about cellulite in my mind.