M:Colin Firth
F:Colin Firth (a lot)
K: the springs on my matress.

Don't be silly, just stir it Una!!!

I'm with Candy, break the bed!

Marry:Jamie. Oh, sweet, sweet Jamie. And he wouldn't have to propose in fractured Portugese, either:
"Beautiful Aurelia, I've come here with a view of asking you to marriage me. I know I seems an insane person - because I hardly knows you - but sometimes things are so transparency, they don't need evidential proof. And I will inhabit here, or you can inhabit with me in England."

Shag: Mark Darcy, for even when wearing hideous clothing his mom bought him, his hotness is undeniable.

Kill: Fitzwilliam Darcy, because proud prigs never really reform.

I'm with Candy. Marry 'em all, fuck 'em all, over and over and over.
Kill Kate Beckinsale for selling out; to me she will always be Emma.
Oh and kill Gwyneth Paltrow while we're at it.

M: Mark Darcy. Then I'd get to fuck him over and over.
F: Jamie.
K: Fitzwilliam Darcy, but can I do it by fucking him to death? :)

M: Fitzy Darcy

F: Mark Darcy *fanning myself at the thought*

K: Jamie

I would only kill Jamie because I am a loser who has never seen "Love, Acutally"

I'm with whyme. But really, you can't lose here. :)

M: Jamie (anyone that talks to me in Portuguese or Italian can ravish me anytime)

F: Mark Darcy (he's too stiff to marry but I'd do him anyway - in his ugly xmas jumper)

K: Fitzwilliam - I don't do period romance :)

Mmm, Colin Firth anytime.

Oh, the agony of having to choose! Can't I have all three????? Ok, if I must...

M: Mahhhhk cuz Bridget is an IDIOT for picking Daniel over him!

F: Fitzwilliam Darcy because I am all about the period romance and the ruffled shirts and the pond and....!

K: Jamie..reluctantly...if I must

The Colin Firth Edition, Volume II needs to include the smoking hot, aristocratic-yet-not-averse-to-leather-pants Henry Dashwood in "What a Girl Wants".

Kill, Austen's Mr Darcy, for I don't know him that well.

Marry. I shall move to utah and marry both Mark Darcy for loving my wobbly bits, and Jamie for being so damn broken and loveable.

and thank you. Because I LOVE colin firth

Wow. This is one of the hardest questions I've ever had to answer! Not fair!

M: Fitzwilliam Darcy. HELLO, Pemberley.
F: Jamie. Yummy. lol!
K: Mark Darcy. He's a bit mealy/pushover.

M: Mark Darcy. Most likely a tiger in the bedroom beneath that good-boy exterior. And undoubtedly VG genetic material for father of one's children.

F: Fitzwilliam Darcy. In every conceivable position in each and every one of the 276 rooms of Pemberley. And when weather allows, in Pemberley Park, the garden, the pond and on horseback.

K: Nobody! Sorry.

@ Viv, I completely agree with the whole Fitzwilliam Darcy sentiment. 276 rooms indeed!

Anyway,

Marry: Fitzwilliam Darcy, because he just seems like the type that waits until marriage. Plus, who wouldn't want to be mistress of Pemberley?

Fuck: Mark Darcy, because he just looks like he'd be fantastic in bed. After you get past the initial formality and stiffness, that is.

Kill: Aw man. Do I have to? I guess Jamie because I don't know his character as well, and thus could not form as informed an opinion (and I don't think he really got wet in Love, Actually, did he? That reminds me, did you notice how Mr. Darcy was wet an extraordinary amount of times in P&P? In the bath, washing his face, going for a sexy, mid-afternoon swim. Hmm.)