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There are things in your life you can't unimagine. For instance, your grandma's boobs slapping as she jogs naked. See? You can't unthink that! And because I love Anne very much, I am so tempted to get her some Ham-flavored soda pop for Christmas. You threw up, just now, didn't you? I'm sorry. Which reminds me, this is the time of year when we eat a lot of delicious things, but with the collision of families and guilt and parties and more guilt, it's also the time of year when you end up eating some really rotten things too. The comments want to know what's the worst thing you've ever stuck in your mouth around the holidays. (Answers like "my boss" will make us laugh but come on, you know what we mean). Fruitcake? â??Weetabix 7 CommentsLeave a comment |
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This year, the Jones Soda Co. has launched the Hanukkah Pack:
http://www.avclub.com/content/node/70759
The worst thing I've ever put into my mouth during the holidays was burnt green bean casserole! Talk about nasty, it really tested the limits of my gag reflex.
My aunt's bourbon balls. And I like bourbon.
Just opening the tin they came in (coffee can disguised with Delft-patterned contact paper) would sting your eyes and get you drunk.
Store-bought meatballs in store-bought barbeque sauce that someone brought to a potluck. Foul, gelatinous blobs of low-grade beef and soy protein, soaked in a sauce that tasted like it was made of tears, pain, and liquid smoke. Blargh!
My mother-in-law's Veg-all casserole, and her burnt chicken stew.
Store bought shortbread cookies at an office party. They looked like shortbread but once I got a bite I could tell that butter was never involved. Who wants a mouth full of Crisco?!
Oh, oh. My stepmother is legendarily incompetent in the kitchen--seriously, how do you not learn anything/get better in 25+ years of trying? But we are all still talking about what we refer to as her "Cajun" "Blackened" ham. (The word we are politely avoiding is "burnt".) Oh, it was a sin committed upon that ham. Anne would weep.