All-American Girl: We're dying to know whether Ms. Cho's burlesque show is as awesome as it sounds.

Karl Lagerfeld's Boobs Want Cocaine: It was only a matter of time before LiLo's alcohol monitoring anklet started a fashion trend.

The Next Hummer: Blimp is no longer an insult, it's a must-have status symbol!

Carbonated Zilch: Nothing quite drives home the idea that diet soft drinks are garbage like the term "chemical soup."

Head's Up: You'll want to send this link to your bedmate. Warning: they all think they're good at oral.

What Not to Wear: Some fashion commentary just begs the reader to comment upon how assy the writer sounds. Yes, fat girls totally choose to wear dirty grocery sacks and adorn our stomachs with giant teddy bears that scream "Ready for seconds? I'm ready for fourths!" The comments on this are pretty awesome. (Thanks Poppy)

Speaking of Bad Fashion: Katie Holmes is not pregnant. She just chooses her wardrobe poorly. (Eeek, black tights!)

Full Support: Did you snap yet another underwire or leave your bra behind at your latest conquest? If you've got a roll of duct tape, you've got no problem.

Image via Splash