Congratulations, Scary Skinny: By labeling this picture of Paris Hilton "pudgy", you've just sent a thousand little girls to the mirrors to examine their stomachs. Nice job.

Choose Wisely: Fans of the South Beach diet are going to find eating out of a vending machine a lot easier, as it will only spit out South Beach choices. Or rather, Kraft's South Beach products, full of sodium, preservatives and ingredients with scary -ryls and -ates suffixes.

Chocolate Kisses: If you are addicted to chocolate, it might not be all in your head, but rather in your gut. The little critters living in your intestines are behind your cravings for Dark Chocolate Snickers bars and fudge brownies. Scientists are stymied at how the bacteria knows to prefer Godiva over Hershey's, however.

More Reasons to Despair: Sadly, the disturbing trend of girls with Type 1 diabetes skipping their insulin shots in order to get skinny is common enough to have an actual name: Diabulimia. They quickly find out that they can easily lose an extra 40 pounds through leg amputation, too.

Oh Queen: Last time we checked, Jenny Craig does NOT prevent diabetes.

Science Fiction: Are we the only ones freaked out by the concept of paying for injections to disintegrate parts of your body?  How much self-hatred must you possess to think that's okay?