Salman Is Kicking Himself: We've always wondered about Padma Lakshmi's long scar on her arm, but she has found a way to use it to her advantage.

Scuttlebutt: Critics wonder why obesity PR spots aren't taken more seriously, yet continue to use terms like "namby-pamby." Hardee's 1,200 calorie breakfast burrito could not be reached for comment.

Oh Honey: Ooops, Kirstie Alley was busted by the diet police. No, she isn't caught with her hand in a bag of burgers, but rather with competing diet products. Don't call Jenny!

Lip Service: Britney Spears is clearly having some kind of allergic reaction to kissing that judge's ass. Christ, girlfriend, you were gorgeous without needles. Didn't she read the goose anus thing?

Not Just Big Boned: Oprah's thyroid is all wackadoo and she's freezing her ass off and feeling a little loopy. Hypothyroidism is a pretty serious condition that doesn't get a lot of press and affects a decent percentage of the population, so you might want to check out the symptoms and possibly talk to your doctor if you're having similar issues.

What Extraordinarily Rich College Students Eat: We'd eschew Kraft dinners for the rest of our lives for just one plate of the white truffle mac & cheese. Yum! And one can only assume that it wouldn't have as much sodium as regular fast food, so it's almost like it's healthy, right?

The Unexpected Side Effects of Having a Fat Ass: Are you overweight? You might want to make sure that you don't lose your head this Halloween.

Photo via Splash