M: Werewolf: So, he's a dick a few days out of the month, so am I.

F: Count Dracuala: He seems like fun times for a night or two, but he's kind of needy and definitely picky, so not a long termer.

K: The Mummy (if that's possibly): He's really hard to undress, and doesn't say or do much, so what's his redeeming value?

Marry: Count Dracula. He's up for going out every night for a bite (ha ha) and he's a sharp dresser!

Fuck: Werewolf. I actually think I did this back in the 80's--one of my boyfriends could have been his body double anyway...

Kill: Mummy. He always scared the crap out of me!!!!

F: Werewolf - hairy guys are hot. (literally.)

M: Count Dracula - that's a guy who will stay around...forever.

K: Mummy - I don't like the way he dresses. Never have.

f: Dracula. A little love bite in the heat of passion and I'm ready to party for all eternity.

m: Wolfie. If we get bored I can throw and stick and start up a rousing game of fetch.

k: Mummy. All those rags are rather nasty and I'm sure he sand in some very unfortunate places.

Marry--Dracula. I've always been a night person. And a sucker for the nobility.

Fuck--The Wolfman. We could make it a regular thing, every full moon.

Kill--The Mummy. And it isn't even murder, because he's already technically dead.

Wait. We are talking about the Boris Karloff Mummy, right? Because if it's the Arnold Vosloo Mummy, I'm going to have to switch my F/K choices.

M: Wolfman. Nice guy always trying to make it up to you for his dark side is a good thing... and his dark side is predictable, so you can plan around it.

F: Dracula. Gimmee a night with him, a weekend, even. He's all about the sensual and the romance, but let's face it, long-term with him is just too long-term.

K: Mummy. Whatever.