Marry: H&M. Not saying it will always be a happy marriage, what with my self-esteem getting periodically threatened by youth and size preferential designs, but overall, a life of contentment and prettiness.

Fuck: Old Navy. When it works it's so much fun, but there's nothing there that could last.

Kill: Fashion Bug. If only I had a boyfriend who would kill the bugs.

Marry: H&M...for all the reasons Roberta mentioned...oh how I love it so.

Fuck: Fashion Bug. I've never shopped there, so it's mysterious and dangerous and potentially awesome. Or maybe not. Only one way to find out!

Kill: Old Navy. Fuck you, Old Navy. You have done me nothing but wrong. You tempt me again and again with your cheap-ass crappy clothes, and I keep buying them because I am stupid and easily fooled, only to be bitterly disappointed when they just never quite look right again, AND disintegrate totally after about four washes. Bye-bye.

Marry Old Navy, I have a long term relationship going with them, despite being banished to the website.

Fuck Fashion Bug, I'd have a fling with FB for the right price.

Kill H&M, their plus size line, when it existed, was AWFUL.

Marry Old Navy, $2 clearance during the summer, who can beat that?

Fuck H&M, cheap and classy ;)

Kill Fashion Bug, nothing personal, i just can't find anything there

Marry: Old Navy. I too am not pleased with the website banishing, but dammit, their jeans FIT ME.

Fuck: Fashion Bug. While I have no lasting affection for them, they do have the occasional fancy-striking item.

Kill: H&M.

Marry: Fashion Bug. They never let me down in a pinch--if I need something to wear to a funeral or presentation and I'm super-pressed for time, the Bug always comes through for me.

Fuck: H&M Since I've never heard of them, what the heck. I'd throw 'em a one night stand.

Kill: Old Navy. Never, ever, ever could find anything that came close to fitting. Or close to attractive, either.

Marry: H&M

Kill: Old Navy. Bad sizing, inconsistent quality, not particularly fashionable.

And Fashion Bug "isn't my type." I don't care how many drinks it buys me, there are some things I just won't do. So hell if I'm gonna fuck it.

Marry: Why all the hate for FB? I've got a big rack. Seriously. Like Anita Bryant without the eugenics. Fashion Bug fits me. Their blouses hug my gals without that underarm fabric droop that I get with other clothes.

Fuck: Old Navy is that mean bitch that I take home every once in a while when I've had a few too many. She gives me one good blouse or a pair of pants every other season but otherwise she ignores me in her commercials and won't give me the time of day in person. Basically, we are having a really embarrassing internet affair. I feel so dirty.

Kill: H&M. They seduced me with affordable, fun, flirty fashion that fit and then dumped me. Not even a press release like someone else (See Fuck above). H&M had better hope that we don’t meet in a dark alley or I might have to open a can of chocolate flavored whoop ass.

H&M: Kill, KILL KILL! They are among the bastards who try to convince size 12 and 14 types they're fat. Not cool, not OK, completely not acceptable.

Fashion Bug: None of the above. Put in a rest home. They've gone from snazzy to old lady in the past year - seriously, the displays in my closest store have those horrible tiny floral prints. *shudder*

Old Navy: Fuck. I've tried a few of their plus things, and they're... OK. They fit, they're comfortable, and they survive me - and I'm rough on attire.