Weetabix: So, Maxim magazine has ranked the top 5 least sexy women alive:

    1. Sarah Jessica Parker
    2. Amy Winehouse
    3. Sandra Oh
    4. Madonna
    5. Britney Spears

I don't understand the Sandra Oh thing I mean, she was awesome in that wine movie and I think she's very hot.
Anne: Well, that's the problem. What we think is hot is very different from what Maxim thinks is hot.
Seeing as we have brains, taste and no thumbs up our asses.
Weetabix: This is a good point. As Tyra says during ANTM, the girls with the big boobs have to be careful to not be too hoochie, a.k.a. Maxim girls.
Anne: There's no pleasing them, because the reason Britney's not hot is because she's gotten too fat. Which—I don't understand. Because when did that become fat?
Weetabix: Maxim does mention that she's gained 23 pounds in the accompanying text
Anne: Trashy, sure. Sad and pathetic, sure. None of that is especially sexy. I can buy "Britney's lost her mind, and that ain't sexy!"

Weetabix: Although I think in this case, it's the trash factor that they're objecting to more so than the poundage. Maybe I'm wack, though, because I think Sandra Oh is gorgeous and totally fuckable.
Anne: I started watching Grey's Anatomy, right? Season 1 DVDs. And I remembered reading that one of them was a lingerie model. And when I saw Sandra Oh, I assumed it was her.
Weetabix: See, exactly!
Anne: The big blonde turned out to be the model, though. Spoiler! What is not sexy about tiny and lithe?
Weetabix: I cannot be spoiled, as I do not watch the show. I would feel like I was cheating on Dr. Gregory House, M.D.
Anne: I think they're afraid of her.
Weetabix: Perhaps. They cite her "boyish" figure and her "cold bedside manner." Um, hello, she's ACTING.
Anne: See, the ladies are supposed to be giggly and yielding!
Weetabix: I'm sure that in real life she's very cuddly and giggles on occasion.
Anne: However she is in real life, with that hair she can be anyone she wants. Or anyhow she wants.
Weetabix: I can understand why Madonna would be considered unsexy.
Anne: She terrifies me a little bit now.
Weetabix : Her musclulature is strange and offputting these days yes, like she can pop my skull with one bicep.
Anne: Yes, exactly! I am amazed by her body. But she could so kick my ass.
Weetabix: Have you ever seen Bodyworlds? You know, the skinless corpse exhibit? That's what she reminds me of, just a little bit. A lot, actually and corpses? Not sexy.
Anne: Maybe Madonna died ten years ago! In a tragic bondage accident! Maybe her skin is just airbrushed on. She can afford a team of airbrushers.
Weetabix: That she can. Airbrushers riding diamond ponies.
Anne: But it does explain why she looks so remarkably...preserved. You'd think with more money than god he could afford a better job.
Weetabix: Well, it's not like he's mucking out sewers or anything
Anne: But I think it goes back to power, in her case. She's arguably one of the richest women in the world. Though she hasn't done anything especially interesting lately.
Weetabix: His job is servicing Madonna. That's a dirty job, no doubt. I've read the Sex book. She demands much pleasuring.
Anne: But she comes across as powerful, and in control, and that is not the Maxim Way.
Weetabix: I liked her last album, but then, I like the oomph oomph music.
Anne: She had an album?
Weetabix: Oh, the one with the dancing, where she looked exactly like Marilu Henner circa 1981 on the cover. Honestly, if you remove Britney from the equation, every woman on Maxim's list probably has a BMI of under 17. I argue that Britney is only on the list because she's such an easy target.
Anne: What kills me about Britney is that—well, she has obviously lost her head. But it's like everyone's disappointed that she's not cute and hot and an underage sex symbol anymore. People are pissed that she's ruined their fantasies.
Weetabix: So, it's ok to be crazy, as long as you look good in hot pants?
Anne: And pigtails.