Iron Clad: Jennifer Garner wears not one, but sometimes two pairs of Spanx when she's on the runway. Are designers really bent on forcing women to compromise their internal organs? Maybe it's not you, maybe it's the DRESS, Jennifer. (P.S. Say hi to Violet for us.)

Famous Faces You've Never Heard Of: The little girl who was the model for the Coppertone ads (the one where the dog is clearly sexually harassing her by pulling down her swimsuit) is now a personal trainer in Florida. Also, Big Boy is dead and Little Debbie is a NASCAR fan. We could have called that one.

Cheer Up, Damn It! The best bacon comes from happy pigs. We still don't buy the California cow bullshit though.

If Eet's No Scottish, Eet's Crap: Hey, the U.S. may have the highest incidences of obesity, but Scotland's number two! Love this "Oh no, we're going to be like the U.S." article.

Tai Ro Sham Bo: Remember insane infomercial screamer Billy Blanks? He's hotter than the iPhone in Japan right now.

Photo Credit: Splash