First off, you should know right now that I hate the name of this protein bar: "thinkThin." As a former English major, I stridently object to fucking around with the rules of capitalization for the sake of advertising, and the message here is strange; why is "think" not as important as "Thin"? I would think it would be at least as important, but then, I'm not thin, so maybe this discredits my argument about intelligence. Also, another reason that I should automatically hate this bar is the blurb on the side. Here it is:

"We harness the power of nature to create delicious pure foods for true vitality." Ha! We'll see about that! "As a model, I knew beauty was an inside job." Wait, what does that even mean? Am I THINKING about this too much? "That's why I created thinkThin." Oh dear lord, they even removed a space. "Its sugar-free, high-protein ingredients are low in carbohydrates to help you feel good and look great." I thought carbs created a release of seratonin that caused you to feel good!

And this blurb is signed "Lizanne, CEO, mother of 2, former model." Whatevs, former model. You're already annoying me with your weird packaging and now this bizarre statement about your fertility earning same billing with your professional credits is making me barely tolerate your bullshit. I can't even find anything on your so-called modeling career on Google, only that you were in one episode of Models, Inc. way back when, so not quite up there with Linda Evangelista, huh? Hey, did you know I used to be the go-to girl whenever the local plus-size stores needed a runway model? It's true, and yet I don't mention it when giving my credentials for things related to nutrition. Maybe I should.

I always pick the peanut butter flavors of the protein bars for these Taste Tests to maintain a baseline, so I grabbed one called "Creamy Peanut Butter" and was a little put off by the advertised 20 grams of protein and sugar free. It seems in my trials that as soon as a bar hits the area of 15 grams of protein, there aren't enough other ingredients in it to offset the weird chalky taste of whatever powdered protein they are dumping in there. This bar, without sugar and gluten, and with all of this crazy-assed model talk, undoubtedly would taste like loose leaf paper. This was my prediction. Imagine my dismay when Lizanne and all of her fertile model talk threw me a curveball.

On first bite I was definitely not expecting the soft, pillowy mouthfeel of a Reese's peanut butter cup. In fact, the peanut butter inside the fake whatever-it-is-pseudo-chocolate tastes very organic and natural and only on the afternotes can you detect any attempt to amp up the protein value. The ending is a tad grainy if you were comparing it to an actual candy bar, but compared with the other protein bars on the market, the annoyingly named thinkThin bar is practically decadent. At 240 calories, with 80 of them related to fat, it is so much better for you than, say, a Sausage and Egg McGriddle, and the taste won't leave you feeling deprived either. Amazing! I know! I am as shocked and awed as you all must be. In fact, the thinkThin Creamy Peanut Butter bar comes very close in taste to my personal two favorites, the Zone Perfect and the Luna bar, and actually outperforms them in the protein department. The only downside is a paltry 1 gram of fiber, but eh, if that's what had to go to make this bar taste pretty damned good, I'll cheerily bulk up with a spinach salad or something for lunch instead.

I'm a convert. Well played, Lizanne, well played. It's still a stupid name, though. --Weetabix, former model, writer, cat owner.