She's Real Super Smart Too: Jenna Jameson wants you to know that she's healthy and happy and we'd better stop saying that she's too skinny, because skinny is good, so stop being mean because she's going to be a model and then she does a mean laugh when her bodyguard suggests that she gets fat instead. Okay, Jenna, we'll stop being mean just because you gave such a solid fact-based argument. Also, good luck with the modeling career. We had no ideas that there were runway shows for strap-ons.

He Used to Bone Rebecca Romijn: Poor John Stamos is so shy that he used to work out in the bathroom so that he didn't have to meet the eyes of his coworkers on ER. Or maybe he was just energized by the smell of urinal cakes.

Bringing Sexy Back: She may have Timberlake in the palm of her hand, but really Jessica Biel has a Girl Crush on Jennifer Aniston. Yeah, well, get in line, sister!

Food for the Brain: Not like you needed another reason to avoid scary low calorie levels, but it now turns out that crash diets and unhealthy fasts are related to dementia when you're older. The Runway Models Retirement Home is not going to be a pretty place in the year 2045.

Bitch Crazy: There's dedication to portion control and then there's crazy-assed Faye Dunaway, who brought her own plastic gloves and food scale to Koo Koo Roo and then demanded more broccoli when she felt she'd been slighted. Oh Faye Dunaway, at least you're still making the gossip pages.

You're Shitting Us: You mean that a reality show about weight loss might not be safe nor sane for the contestants?

Reason #412 to Love Kelly O: It doesn't matter how tragic her friends become, Kelly Osbourne will defend them violently to the press. Case in point: Amy Winehouse. Kelly would like to remind everyone that Winehouse is a great talent.

OMG Please Be True: Could there really be a sequel in the works for Ferris Beuller's Day Off? We hope so. And we hope his sister Ginny has worked out her feelings of inadequacy.