Weetabix: So, my little marmalade biscuit!
Anne: Hello, my beloved brioche!
Weetabix: We are chock full of carby goodness this week.
Anne: The kind of carby goodness that Nicole Richie has been chowing down on, I hope!
Weetabix: I hope so too! Maybe she's made Brooke's cold soup? That's full of prenatal vitamins.
Anne: What I liked about it was the protein shot, with the crab.
Weetabix: I saw her chop them in, when you weren't looking. You're always about the protein shots.
Anne: Prenatal vitamins can also be spread on crusty bread. I think you just called me a whore. Sweet!
Weetabix: But a very expensive whore. With pretty boobies!
Anne: But for how long? Insert dramatic music.
Weetabix: Duh duh daaaaaa! That was my attempt at dramatic music via text as that is our media.
Anne: Suzannadanna's essay reminded me of one of my favorite sayings--that tits are a fat girl's ace in the hole. I was so struck by her comment that she had to get used to herself at a higher weight, having boobs.
Weetabix: Oh, didn't Mopie coin that? Our friend Mopie who is in the picture with you last week? Mopie of Big Fat Deal?
Anne: Mopie did indeed! In Tales From The Scale.
Weetabix: I can't imagine not having boobs, myself, but I would think it would take some adjustment
Anne: And we took very nice pictures, if I do say so myself. I will add them to my photo essay, I think.
Weetabix: Can you explain to me the bra band conspiracy? How could you have gone down a cup size but not an inch in the band?
Anne: I don't know!
Weetabix: Were you wearing too tight a bra before? I'm stymied!
Anne: It seems deeply, outrageously unfair. Maybe god hates me. That is my answer. Or maybe, yes, my bra was too tight.
Weetabix: That it is. Or maybe God doesn't want you to shop at Victoria's Secret.
Anne: There can be no other explanation. God knows what her secret is. And he knows it is EVIL. Perhaps, when I finally put together my own photo project, I'll have documented proof of the weirdness of my boobs. That will be interesting to see.
Weetabix: Perhaps. I think you should take a picture of them every day. Although then we're really becoming a different kind of website, but perhaps you could catch them in the act of morphing like Big Foot, only with your boobs grainy footage of two breasts running away in the woods
Anne: We'll add a credit card area to the site for that. And did you just call my breasts hairy? I resent that remark! Now I will not ask you to send me photos, please.
Weetabix: One is Harry and the other one is Tad.
Anne: No, that is a lie. I want your photos.
Weetabix: I will send you a boob shot!
Anne: So they're a Tad Harry? Hahahahaha! Sorry.
Weetabix :You caught that. Hahaha. We're stupid.
Anne :Stupid FRESH.
Weetabix: Like the fruits and veggies from the CSA!
Anne: Which Cynthia approves of! Instead of not giving a shit, you should join your local CSA!
Weetabix: She does. Did you see that Courtney Love was getting colonics, by the way? That's how she claims she lost weight.
Anne: I wonder if she and Cynthia party together.
Weetabix: I want to go to that party!
Anne: Colonics for weight loss? That is a strategy of lies.
Weetabix: Cynthia will be all like "Noooo, Courtney, put down the cocaine. Here, have some flax seed."
Anne: We can crash that party and take boob shots. And then Courtney snorts the flax. And it all goes downhill from there. Like this chat.
Weetabix: Oh, that's got to suck in your nasal cavity.
Anne: Please let's not speak of cavities. Brush three times daily, everyone! We're so helpful.
Weetabix: And go to sleep!
Anne: G'night, John boy.
Weetabix: So that you can get busy!
Anne: HE-LLO, John boy!