The New Yorker has just sent out it's yearly food issue. Sadly, the pages still are not made of taffy.

The September issue of InStyle has hit the stands, with our girlfriend Gwen Stefani on the cover. Wear a truss if you pick this one up: it's enormous! And this month's Vogue with Sienna Miller on the cover is their fattest version ever!

Sarah's girl crush Jessica Simpson reveals in this month's Self that she's not going to let the tabloids steal her sunshine anymore. There's probably nothing she can do if they steal her parking spot, though. Bastards.

Living gives tips on, appropriately enough, how to go on living for 100 years. Sadly, "Eat Bacon Every Day" is not on the list.

Domino's de-clutter guide for bathrooms will inspire you to do some defunkifying in your medicine cabinet. Do you really need pre-Millenial Monistat? Probably not.

Do you want to become a crazy old lady with 27 cats? No? Bitch Magazine has your back and examines the reason why women like to collect things and what to do if it's 2 a.m. and we're on eBay about to start bidding on 400 Precious Moments figurines.