Move Over Kelly: Oh, for Christ's sake, Mandy Moore is not fat. Nor "chubby." Or whatever the fuck euphemism haters are using these days to pretend like they aren't pathetic fame-seeking women with angry sad existences who get some kind of gratification out of casting judgment over celebrities while still considering themselves a feminist or all "girl power" or what have you. Fuck that noise. And seriously, when did "chubby" and "hot" become mutually exclusive descriptors?

Oh Hell Yeah: Because we need to clear our palates after that bullshit, here's something that makes us happy. Joy Nash, the incredible outspoken brilliant woman behind the single most viewed video on YouTube, has a blog. And she's just as brilliant in text as she is on video. Of course she is.

We're Lame: But we're weirdly really excited that the Spice Girls are getting back together. Posh really does have a reason to exist! Between this and the Die Hard sequel, it's like we're reliving the early '90s! If only the New Kids could work out their differences.

And You Smell Funny Too: PETA has resorted to name calling. Wow, way to earn everyone's respect with the whole playground bully strategy. PS. PETA? You're a wiener.

Brace Yourself: We're all about embracing the delish, but holy fuck, there are so many better things you could blow 2,240 calories on than a subpar dessert at a medicore quasi-ethnic mall restaurant. Like a pound of bacon. Dipped in chocolate. Priorities, people!