Lead singer of the Gossip, Beth Ditto, recently proclaimed, "If there's anyone to blame for size zero, it's not women. Blame gay men who work in the fashion industry and want these women as dolls."

If there is one community in which I've always felt comfortable as a plus-sized woman, it is among gay men. Gay men seem to love me and honestly, I never really understood why. If you were going to brand me with a stereotype, you might call me a fag hag, but really, I have no pretty boi on my arm. I just have a lot of sass with a lot of ass to back it up. And what's not to love about that?

Melanie has this theory:

In our culture, big girls are seen as less attractive, and it is assumed by many that those of us of a larger persuasion are lazy, and (for reasons unfathomable to me) unintelligent. Because of this, fat chicks generally don't get a lot of attention from straight men, unless they have a cute skinny friend that the guys want to talk to...Gay men, while being some of the most critical judges of appearance for other men, are generally willing to overlook appearance factors in women...A fat chick finds a way to fill the void of male attention with this, the gay boy gets a girl friend to hang out with.

Uh uh. I'm not buying it, but I think Melanie is on to something. Perhaps gay men are equally marginalized. Perhaps they are not drawn to just any fat girls but the fat girls who are fabulous in the face of society telling them that they are not worthy. Perhaps this is why when I went dancing at the Roxy, I made friends in every corner and whenever my companion would leave to visit the bathroom or go get a drink, I would inevitably have a new fabulous male admirer by the time he returned. Perhaps it wasn't my generic fat girl frame but rather the go-go boots and cleavage-baring dress in size 26W that got their attention. Perhaps it was my perpetually raised eyebrow that marked me as a kindred spirit. I might be closer to Ugly Betty on the outside, but on the inside, maybe they could sense that I'm all Amanda (or probably, Wilhelmina). With a little bit of Marc thrown in to keep things interesting.

As for Ms. Ditto, I could continue on about why I'm disappointed and a little embarassed that she's generalizing this much. But I think Dan Savage says it the best (and there's just too much good stuff here not to quote it all):

Does Ditto think gay men only began working in the fashion industry in the last 20 years? The reason certain body types come in and out of fashion has little to do with the pack of cocksuckers that run the fashion industry. The skinny thing, like all aspects of fashion, are all ultimately about sexual display and attraction. And sexual display is about the flaunting of wealth, power, and status, Beth, and not about the ability of evil male homosexuals to dictate beauty standards to helpless straight women. When food was scarce and most people were skinny, plump bodies were "ideal" because they were a sign of status and wealth. And the oppressed skinny girls felt awful and unattractive--and gay men made clothes for the fat girls and the skinny girls just the same. Today food is plentiful and most people are heavy and skinny bodies are "ideal" because they're a sign of status and wealth. And the oppressed plump girls are made to feel awful and unattractive--and gay men make clothes for the skinny girls and the fat girls just the same.

Well said, Dan, spoken like a man who needs to come over and sit next to me at the Ultralounge. As for Beth Ditto, we'll forgive her this once. Clearly, she's temporarily forgotten how much it sucks to be lumped into an unfortunate stereotype. --Weetabix