What Is John Mayer Thinking? There can't be anorexics in Texas because it's the biggest state and anorexics are, like, skinny, right? At least Mariah Carey's idiocy was only an urban legend.

The Anti-Martha Cards: We're totally making the chilled celery log for our next hipster shindig.

 The Car Pool Lane: Bikers and walkers are scientifically proven to enjoy commuting more (or at least say that they do). We suspect results would be different if they had polled people who commuted by, say, flying carpet. Or flying squirrel.

Got Skeletons in the Closet: Unilever has cracked down on its brand managers and ad agencies. As though we needed another reason to buy Breyers super-yummy triple-churned ice cream.

And She's Antonio Banderas's Chew Toy: We never thought we'd agree with freaking Perez Hilton.

Vote Your Conscience: Enough with government, let's vote on something really important, like favorite fake culinary icons. Um, aren't you forgetting someone really important?

It Looks Good on the Hanger: Clearly Kate Moss' new line for Top Shop isn't made for the real woman but unexpectedly, Madonna's H&M line passes the test.

Photo Credit:  Steve Granitz/Wire Image