Kate Bosworth Reappears: We are temporarily ceasing our Emergency Cheeseburger Watch for Kate Bosworth. However, should her hipbones emerge, our elite operatives will be standing by with an In-N-Out Double-Double.

Pill Popping Is So After School Special: Buying expensive mystery drug with ridiculous impossible claims...what could possibly go wrong? Even if the drugs don't hurt you, what is healthy about losing 30 pounds in 30 days?

Brainiac Diet: We've always heard that fish was smart food, but does this mean that if more models ordered salmon and toro sushi, they would beat the dumb cliché?

The Return of the Blob: It's probably just us, but the tone of this piece reads like there's a Godzilla-sized fat ass about to overtake the coast. Does anyone have Mothra's cell phone number handy?

Mighty Mischa: We might not love her acting or her fashion, but go Mischa Barton! She gives face right back at the haters that compare her to Nicole Richie's passion for maintaining a rickety frame. Mischa's photographic history attests that she's been willowy since childhood.

Photo Credit:  Kevin Mazur/Wire Image